woke up and found a beanie in my freezer fml now my head is cold

pasta and sauce

A short story of internet friends.

I wanna tell a short story.

This is Eder. I could not find a better picture of him.

I met Eder when I was 19 — on a Github issue lol

The repo was an open-source Keras implementation of YoloV3 I was trying to get working. I was trying to train my own object detection model to try to build my own self-driving car and was getting destroyed by Tensorflow errors (it was 2015/2016 and there was no APIs haha).

So, I did some digging.

I found this guy named “Eder” on the repo who seemed pretty smart, he was answering a bunch of questions, I found his email, and emailed him screenshots of my errors.

He…replied.

I was amazed. He immediately fixed my issues.

And then he replied again.

And again.

Then we hopped on a call.

And he taught me about neural networks and answered some extremely niche questions on different loss functions.

Eder ended up being my first real mentor.

I would often ask him why he was helping me so much, and I’ll never forget he said “Because someone else did the same for me at one point”.

At the time, Eder was a 27 year-old Ph.D student who recently graduated and went to work at CommaAI in San Francisco with George Hotz.

“Wow. California”, I thought.

It felt so far. I was just a kid in Florida.

The idea of going from Florida to California felt insane. America is huge. And, rarely do people end up permanently leaving their state unless its for a little vacation. I thought I would die in Florida.

San Francisco felt insane.

That was Apple, Google, Silicon Valley, all the big dogs.

I felt so blessed to even talk to this guy on the phone and he inspired me tons.

When I talked to Eder — he felt like the first person I ever talked that liked making stuff. Up to that point in my life, I had just made stuff by myself always.

One day on our call, Eder says “Bro you should come to SF and say hi”.

And guess what.

I did.

I was 19. I didn’t even know what a startup was.
I barely knew where SF was on a map.
I just got into coding like a year before.
I had no idea what I’d do there.

But, I found a way for my school to fund my ticket + hotel as a “research trip” and on that trip I got to meet Eder, see SF for the first time, and got to see what a fancy startup HQ like CommaAI looked like — surprise, surprise it was just a giant 3-floor house where everyone was living, working, and breathing self-driving cars.

I had never seen anything like it.

The only office I ever knew was like the corporate ones back home.

This was insane.

I loved it.

And from there, I knew what I wanted to do.

I wanted to be here.

Doing stuff.

With people like Eder.

After that little trip to Eder I decided I’d be back. And, two-years later I moved from Orlando to SF without telling my parents (my father was not happy).

And, it was awesome.

It’s been a journey since.

I’ll always thank Eder for inspiring me to come out, and showing me what was out there.

I felt really alone and weird in Florida.

But, thanks to the power of the internet — I met someone that I felt similar to for the first time. Turns out, like-minded people really are just a few messages away.

One more thing.

I’ll never forget during one of our first calls I was pummeling him with questions — and he said, “I’ll tell you everything I know. But, you have to promise you’ll pass on the knowledge to someone else one day”.

I promised.

And that spawned an entire career of me writing viral blog posts about how I trained models that got millions of views, even a YT channel where I taught people to code.

A lot of people asked me why I did these things…

Yes, a big reason was because I enjoyed it.

But, a bigger reason?

Because I had made a promise to Eder — that, when someone taught me something, I would teach it to someone else.

I’m glad I made that promise.

It brought me places in these last 10-years I never expected…

It’s a promise I keep to this day.

Here’s me and Eder last week:

NEW YT VIDEO WOOOOOOO.

High chance you already saw it, but, the new YT video is out.

Shot + edited by Bonzo. Really proud of it.

It’s an 8-minute short film about how I’ve been navigating the idea maze.

This was a tough video. For weeks I had no idea what this month’s video would even be about. I wanted to tell the world about by frustrations and anxieties, my highs and lows.…but didn’t know how to word it.

But one morning, it all hit me, and I wrote the script in one 30-minute session.

Compared to the last video, this one was more complex in terms of scenes — the script itself had 20+ different scenes and 3-4 different locations.

To keep things efficient, me and Bonzo planned out all the shots the day before.

Then the next day we shot the video from 10AM - 5PM straight.

Bonzo speed ran the edit in just a day.

From there, Dante helped me with some thumbnails.

Making thumbnails is enough to make any man go crazy and just takes a ton of inspiration + work.

YouTube has the option where it will auto-test test 3 different thumbnails for 14 days.

Here’s the winner from the last video:

And, here’s the thumbnail winning right now for new video.

This one Dante made for me. The “+ ai” is genius.

Okay, thats all see u soon byeeeeeeeee.

P.S: I GOT A NEW POSTER. IT’S AN ORIGINAL:

sunday night thinking about how kiwis got weird hairs on the outside wtf

Hey all, quick and dirty newsletter for you.

Like the old days.

just wanna give you an update on whats up, and new learnings.

I know a lot of people are wondering how I’m navigating starting from zero so maybe this helps someone.

Sorry if typos I’m one shotting this shit.

Last 21 days have been good, but fucking difficult.

I don’t have any rules.

If I wake up and wanna make a VR game I’ll do that. If I wanna keep working on a previous thing I was building (ideally!) I’ll do that.

But I am insanely, stupidly disciplined about two things:

• Show up everyday.

• Make something, show one person.

Most days I got no clue what I’m working on.

I’m not that guy that has like 1000 ideas on an Apple Note.

I start at a blank page most days.

Showing up at the laptop everyday, not knowing what I’m gonna do is already hard. And on top of that, knowing that by the end of each day I gotta make something, and show at least one person — yea, that makes it harder.

Still I’ll always trust in my process.

And so far so good.

Week 1 sucked.

Day 1 was so full of anxiety.

I literally thought everything I did was stupid for the first 5 hours.

Around hour 8 I started working on a stupid text editor for myself.

Questioning my existence as I did it.

Still. I showed up. And I had to follow my two rules.

Made the first version in 4-hours.

And texted a shitty Xcode build ZIP to my boy Julian:

By the end of Week 1 I thought this editor was kinda cool.

Still was embarrassed at how simple, small, and niche it was.

But, just decided I don’t give a fuck what people say let’s ship it. I asked Josh if he could cook up a little video in two hours for it and he was down:

I chose to do a video not because I wanted to to go viral, or because I wanted it to look cool. It didn’t make sense. It’s a fucking text editor lol.

There was no rationale.

I just did it because it seemed fun.

And 95% because I like working with Josh.

And I missed making stuff with him.

And, bam, shipped it.

I woulda been happy with 10 downloads.

Ended up getting 1.8M views, thousands of downloads, and a now an amazing community of die-hard Freewrite fans. The feedback has been truly heart warming.

Along with that, shipped that YT video with Aiden I mentioned last week. I hit him up like a day before:

Literally made end-to-end in 1-day. Script, shooting, editing, thumbnail, everything.

0 expectations.

If I got even 100 views I woulda been happy.

I just wanted to get off 0 on YT.

Everyone thinks I got this master plan for my “personal brand” or something and sure I got goals — but… I wanted to make the video because it seemed fun.

And I felt like it’d be fun to work with Aiden on something again.

Anyways, it also did super well. Almost half a 500,000 views across platform (X/LN/YT)

I was very, very happy with the 25,000 views on YT. 75% of YT views coming from algo which I was super happy with.

Bam + >999% haha.

Tryna make 1 video a month for YT.

—

So, last week was officially “Week 3” for me

I started building a voice agent to help me talk through my day. It’s based on my learnings from people using Freewrite. Folks really seemed to love the AI feature I added last minute.

(Btw, adding your users to a single GC is always a good idea. I always learn so much from just seeing how ppl talk about the product. Freewrite GC now has 1k ppl and it gives me an insane amount of new ideas).

So, I thought — huh, what if that was one entire product.

I thought it was a stupid fucking idea.

But I didn’t have any other ideas that day on Tuesday lol.

And I had to ship SOMETHING.

I learned iOS/Expo, made it in like 3-hours, made the initial UI, added real-time voice with elevenlabs, and conversation w/ Gemini Flash, and had a simple demo of a grandpa giving advice.

i literally ripped off this blog post and changed the background 😂.

And I just walked around the office with my phone with this shit demo showing like 20 people.

I was surprised at how some ppl spoke to it.

Was so interesting.

It greatly inspired me.

And for the next 2 days I’d come in, make it just a little bit better and show like 10-20 people the update.

That’s how my brain gets its best ideas.

When I show someone something, and they start telling me their thoughts, and then that triggers a new idea in my head, and all of a sudden it’s that feeling I know super well — like you’re on to something.

And my main goal these last 3-weeks has just been to flex that muscle as much as possible.

So yea. Now I have like a ton of actually really cool ideas for this voice agent I thought was initially stupid.

Life is weird.

Just gotta ship.

Just gotta show people.

Two learnings:

One — I should build with other people even if it’s only like for 30m and even if I have barely any idea what I’m building.

Working with Josh/Aiden on a video, with Dante on a YT thumbnail, with Stavan on some tweet copy, with Jack on random voice agent implementation — all these little things gave me so much energy. And made me feel less alone. And made my ideas better. You can work with your friends in small ways and have fun, it doesn’t have to be all-in or nothing.

Two — Building a new mental, and spending time doing so was worth it.

In the last 8-months I’ve purposely built up a brand new mental. I have updated internal rules, new internal motivations to guide me, and a lot of new strategies to deal with my mind.

(This is all something I’m now realizing I have told literally no one about).

I never wanted my mental to fail me again.

Many of you reading this likely have never met me. But, I’m emotional as hell.

I smile easily. I laugh easily. I cry easily. I get easily anxious.

I wanted to continue to feel all the emotions. Emotions are what make me feel alive. They lead me to do my best work.

It’s hard to be creative without being deeply in touch with your emotions.

But, as I felt these emotions in my work — I no longer wanted them to change my state of mind. This was an important goal of mine these last 8-mo.

Anyways, all this zen bullshit sounds good on paper.

But to me, these first 3-weeks were where I could put my new mental to the test.

And I was extremely happy with the result.

Sure, I had down days. Sure I had anxious days. But, a majority of my days were happy as hell. I rarely felt like my emotions were controlling me. And, if I was down, I knew how to get myself to rebound. It was beautiful.

I couldn’t even remember the last time I had such good days building stuff.

Felt like a real personal breakthrough.

Anyways, just gotta maintain it as things get bigger and better. always the tough part/fun part >:)

—

Anyways, this was a really quick letter guys.

Nothing special. Just wanted to write this.

So. Now. Week 4? Shitttttt, let’s see lol. I have some ideas.

I got no rules right now and am purposely being loose as hell but I also know I have a really good level of base focus and my brain will keep trying to build on top of what I do each day vs blank slate each day (ex. like this voice agent being directly inspired by freewrite user learnings).

But if I gotta start from a blank slate each day — so be it.

I’ll keep doing it.

Anyways.

Took a day off. Went 3-hours north. Stayed in a cabin.

Saw the most beautiful wildflowers, mountains, and rivers. It was amazing.

(At one point a bird landed next to me a bro i teared up it was beautiful).

btw raised two small checks from my friends — shoutout furqan/hubert at founders inc + ryan at weekend fund.

kept it extremely low key.

See you!

just wiped my counter top with orange scented citric acid and now im fiending for orange juice wtf

I made my first YouTube video in over a decade.

Yo fam.

There’s a high chance you already saw this if you follow me else where…

But, I made my first YouTube video in over a decade.

It covers what I’m up to, and how I’m thinking about what’s next.

It was a really quick decision.

• I wrote the script in 30-minutes.

• Shot + edited it in 5-hours the next day at 7AM (all Aiden, ty king).

• Spent 3-hours on thumbnails (shoutout Dante)

Then — shipped it.

All together, ~8-hours.

And, now its sitting at around a quarter million views across platform.

That’s insane.

And, I had so much fucking fun making it. Especially working with my friends on it obsessing over tiny things.

If you already watched it — would mean so much if you dropped a comment or even better, sent the link to a friend or family member who may enjoy it.

And, if you haven’t watch it…enjoy <3

Also, kinda cool: this video is on the exact same YT channel I started when I was 13.

From 2010.

Same account, same everything (but, I unlisted my old videos for now lol).

Even the freaking channel banner I made when I was 14 with the big “farzatv” themed after the YT logo (something I thought was extremely clever) is the same one I uploaded…in 2010 lol. It hasn’t changed.

Kinda poetic.

Kinda cool :).

Excited to do stuff on here and bring it back.

I have a big time love for YouTube and the medium of long-form storytelling. My goal is by EOY to make YT my main platform I post on. I’ll still post on X, IG, etc — but, find YT 100X more fun!

Okay, that’s all I got see y’all.

just drank green tea liquid death and now 15mg of caffeine is coursing through my gd veins

bim bop boom boom boom bop bam

note: i posted this directly here as well. i think sometimes twitter is decent for long form. but, i feel sometimes it can also be it’s own post here as well lol. sorry if you see it twice haha. enjoy.

hey all.

been a minute.

6-months actually...

i took a one-way flight out of sf with no plan.

didn't know if i'd ever even come back.

ended up spending time in some of the most peaceful places on the entire planet.

from the villages of morocco to the remote forests of the czech republic to the peaceful outskirts of islamabad.

i listened to the beatles a lot

spent most days doing nothing

met some wise people on the road!

it was really, really cool.

but...you don't just get on a plane and have your problems disappear (would be nice)

when the company ended there was an overflow support from fans, friends, and investors:

"it was a good run. you gave it your best"

but of course, you are always your worst critic.

for the majority of my travels i just felt sad, tired, confused, everything at once.

i felt like a flop. like maybe i really did burn out. maybe this was really it. maybe the story ends here.

i think what freaked me most was the thought that i’d never feel that love building stuff ever again. as if this spark i'd had since i was 13 was just gone forever.

that was the worst.

but, i think time just did what time does.

as of today

i feel happier than ever.

and more excited than ever.

i feel like while on the road, i found that light again.

i feel like that kid within me, the kid that see's the world as brand new and just wants to make cool things...i feel like i found him again.

it was a journey. one day i’ll tell the whole story.

(and no, i did not take acid lol)

as of now i'm back in sf, i live 5m away from the office, and i'm just falling in love with making things again.

i really feel 13 again.

and, i feel like i'm ready to build something really fucking cool again. i’m not done yet.

thank you to everyone reading this who still cares. it means a lot.

and, thank you to the thousands of you who messaged me and tagged me over the last 6-mo checking in on me or just sending a note of appreciation.

even though i didn't have it in me to reply... it meant more than you'll ever know!

p.s: im actively hacking on new ideas everyday. if you're in sf and maybe wanna work together, hmu! we can meet up.

p.s.s: i’m really enjoying instagram. just more personal, day to day stuff. twitter/substack/my blog usually pretty polished lol. feel free to follow me here!

p.s.s.s: side-effect of chilling:

me and the beatles just ate some waffles in tokyo

I've raised $12M for my company + hired amazing people -- and until very recently, whenever anyone would ask me my 10-year plan I would flat out say "I have no idea".

Note: this is targeted specifically at founders. But, the same learnings apply to anyone who’s brave enough to create something from nothing — creators, musicians, filmmakers, physics researchers, etc.

You don't need a vision to start a company.

I've raised $12M for my company + hired amazing people -- and until very recently, whenever anyone would ask me my 10-year plan I would flat out say "I have no idea".

And that was the truth.

I just embraced not knowing.

Because, being fake Steve Jobs ain't it.

For many years I was trying to be some sorta visionary. I was playing theatre to inspire and to excite those around me.

Why?

Well.

It felt like all the great CEOs, film directors, writers, basically anyone that did something worthwhile — it felt like they all had this god-given vision for the company they wanted to build, the movie they wanted to make, the book they wanted to write.

And I felt like a damn fool.

Because I had nothing but my laptop, and a lot of motivation to make…something.

I was deeply insecure about my lack of vision, my lack of “unique insights” about the future of the world, my lack of ability to articulate what I wanted to build.

But, every book I read said I needed these things to be successful.

So I started acting like I did.

Like I had a grand plan.

But it was painful. That wasn't me.

I am not naturally a guy that can tell great stories, or speak in a really persuasive way.

I am naturally the dude that quietly works in a corner day in and day out until the work is done. Since childhood, I’ve just been a quiet grinder. I enjoy finding the answers by working towards them.

But, I kept the act up where I had a ton of fake confidence in my “vision”.

There were many, many nights where I felt deeply pained pretending to be someone else for entire months in a row.

So in 2019 when I was 23, I switched it up.

I just started telling the truth.

I stopped caring what others thought of me.

I started being myself.

I started admitting I had no idea what I was going towards, but sure that I was going towards…something.

A lot of people ended up thinking I was an idiot.

Many, many potential high value hires and investors would just look at me like a fool when I admitted to not having a vision.

I couldn't describe our next 365 days let alone the next 10-years. But I would always say:

"Down to figure it out together?".

Many never hit me up again.

But, what ended up happening is I ended up attracting very different types of people...

People that were down to navigate the unknown with me.

People that didn't need me to excite them with a vision/pep talk every week.

People that trusted that we would figure it out together.

And today, these are the people that make up the wonderful team at buildspace.

Same goes with our investors.

They were all people that knew I didn't have this beautiful vision of the future, but they trusted me to figure out the long-term magic.

Why did these all these people "trust" me?

Well, most people say they'll do something and then you never hear from them after 2-years. Seriously. That’s usually how it goes.

I had a long history of consistently saying I would do something, then doing it, and then updating people on results (whether I failed or succeeded).

This was more my style.

Just doing the work vs playing theatrics.

So, I kept this up for many, many years.

Trust in me was built on results vs me being this persuasive, visionary founder that was able to convince others of anything.

It's important to note here:

You eventually do need a clear long-term view of the future, you can't ignore it.

Fantastic things aren't built on 1-2 year timelines.

They often take 10-20 years.

But this ability to have a long-term view is a skill you build overtime.

It's not a magical genius plan that randomly hits you.

You improve your ability to have a clearer view of the long-term by deeply immersing yourself in your craft. You can’t force a vision.

You let it come to you naturally, bit by bit, over years and years by dedicating yourself to a single craft.

For example:

Let’s say you want to make great movies.

Then Year 1 you should make a movie. Year 2, you should make another movie. By Year 3, you’ve learned a lot from Year 1 + 2 and have a better “vision” for your Year 3. Then Year 3 + 4 you make two more movies and learn a ton more about making movies, what scripts you wanna write, how you wanna advertise movies, the types of people you wanna hire for your set, etc.

Your “vision” for Year 5 becomes clearer.

If you keep this up, by Year 10 you’ll not only have even better 10-20 year vision for your movies…

You’ll also be 100X more equipped to actually execute on that vision.

Replace movies about with building a generational company, making the world’s best sushi, whatever.

The boring reality is: you need trust that by just doing the daily work to the best of your ability and dedicating yourself, that things will figure themselves out. But, that trust in yourself is everything.

Many will give up because the fog of war is to intense.

Even I’ve thought about giving up hundreds of times.

Only now, nearly 5-years later, thousands of work days later, millions in revenue later, a whole team hired later — only now am I starting to have a long-term vision for my work + the future of the company.

5. Damn. Years. Later.

But hey, I'm feeling better than ever about our long-term work.

It feels clear…

I'm excited.

And I got some great homies working alongside me.

TLDR:

You don’t need a vision to start.

A vision is something you work towards.

You must trust that by doing the work, you’ll get there.

Most importantly, don't be someone you're not. Focus on improving yourself and solving your flaws, but, never pretend to be someone.

Be yourself, and, you'll figure it out.

I promise.

P.S: quick plug — if you wanna join other people who are just starting out on their ideas and starting to work towards their dreams, apply here.

P.S.S: if you liked this and wanna support more/wanna share it with a friend — it’s on Twitter here ty :).